Clash of the lions: Juniors

By Dan Frechter
Published: November 2010

I would like to take a moment to urge the seniors to ask for as much help as they can get, because I assure you today will be anything but “double the fun.
This year, thanks to an extremely lame class slogan, hideous class apparel, and uneventful weekends, the senior class should just be grateful to (fina11y) be one quarter of the way through their sad excuse for a senior year.
For three years the class of 2011 has been living in the shadow of their younger, more attractive 2012 classmates (and trying to crash our parties, too).
Now please allow me to introduce the girls that Division-I basketball commits have nightmares about.
Aley Lewis: The undisputed leader of the junior defense, Lewis brings a tenured background in rugby to an already physical defensive line. Attention senior O-line, if you attempt to block Lewis, she will rip your face off. Before going to sleep every night, Chloe Rothman checks under the bed for Lewis.
Chloe Jackson-Unger: Joining Lewis and Co., Unger represents one-fourth of the Fearsome Foursome (also Paris Caldwell and Sylvie Evans). Her football superstar boyfriend taught her everything she knows about the game, notably the three-point stance and the bull rush.
Mikayla Bogart: The two-way threat will be handicapped by the fact that a few of her n9ne comrades aren’t playing. If she is allowed to use her grandma’s car to get to the game, “Charizard will use her speed and fire-breathing ability to burn seniors and soccer teammates Celia Kaufer and Martha Schnee.
Lauren Bamel: LB is a beast. Period.
I apologize on behalf of the junior class. We cannot afford to drive luxury cars with custom license plates, roam the halls toting a cup of Dunkin’ or Starbucks, wear sweatshirts from colleges we have no chance of getting in to, or skip class so we can go pretend to be cool in the Wheeler commons, but one thing we can do is make a potential upset a harsh reality.

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