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Wise Project: still up in the air

Posted By Liam Friar On October 28, 2010 @ 2:00 am In Features | Comments Disabled

Although he refused to comment in person, fellow Senior and extreme sports enthusiast James “the flying squirrel Stephanopoulos confirmed via late night tweet that he will be going ahead with his Wise project as planned.
In the series of one word tweets that followed, he also stated that if the school administration will not accept the proposed Wise project, he is confident that it will not be rejected as a Senior Slump focus project.
Stephanopoulos assured his 7.5 followers that colleges will accept the Slump as a valid reason to N out of all second semester classes.
I tried calling the flying squirrel for further comment, but he refused to answer his Skype phone. According to Mama Squirrel, he is already busy preparing for his daring stunt.
James intends to spend sixty-three days in the newly constructed Newton South High School Extreme Lumberjacking and Ropes Course.
Stephanopoulos says that he wishes to connect to his rodent roots. The number sixty-three was chosen as a reasonable average between the time a squirrel spends in hibernation and the number of days James believes he can survive without water.
Stephanopoulos plans on traveling light, packing two ham sandwiches, a bag of acorns, a jaguar-print Snuggie, and a limited-edition solitaire version of Rat-a-Tat-Cat. “And a picture of a squirrel I printed off Google images, said James.
When asked why he prefers Google to Ask Jeeves, the squirrel admitted that, “I guess it’s just because that’s the normal thing to do.
If I really think about it, Jeeves is a more intelligent search engine. This is the kind of societal pressure I want to get away from. Who knows, I might even discover that I like Bing.
James also admitted that he is nervous about his limited supply of food. “I guess I will just be counting on my natural instincts when I’m out there, said the rodent. “If the situation gets really bad, I might have to scurry across the telephone wires until I find a tree with berries.
“It would be really great if some of the Project Adventure® classes could carry up some food for me. Maybe keeping me alive could even serve as a motivation for underclassmen who would otherwise be too scared for the ropes course, added James, who has always been known for his desire to help others.
Despite such determination from the young pioneer, the general public is split. A debate on New TV Green Channel pitted some of the most outspoken voices on each side of the argument against each other.
On one side, a panel of leading doctors and veterinarians argued against the Wise Project, citing the fact that James is in fact not a squirrel and that there is a near 100 percent death rate for similar stunts.
On the other side, local civil rights activists argued that James is taking a big step in fighting a prejudice and discriminatory society.
Unfortunately, New TV’s broadcast of the debate was cut short when the dispute turned violent. Good Luck, James.
And Good Luck to Squirrels Everywhere.

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Article printed from Denebola: http://www.denebolaonline.net

URL to article: http://www.denebolaonline.net/2010/10/28/wise-project-still-up-in-the-air/

URLs in this post:

[1] Anonymous Letters: A senior WISE project: http://www.denebolaonline.net/2008/11/26/anonymous-letters-a-senior-wise-project/

[2] High hopes for new High Ropes: http://www.denebolaonline.net/2010/03/24/high-hopes-for-new-high-ropes/

[3] Senior Slump is a well-deserved respite: http://www.denebolaonline.net/2010/02/10/senior-slump-is-a-well-deserved-respite/

[4] Vue du Sommet: Jeannie Yoon: http://www.denebolaonline.net/2007/12/19/vue-du-sommet-jeannie-yoon/

[5] Senior Slump is the beginning of a bad habit: http://www.denebolaonline.net/2010/02/10/senior-slump-is-the-beginning-of-a-bad-habit/

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