Arts and Entertainment

A take on the entertaining and ever bizarre VMAs

By Denebola
Published: September 2010

The MTV Video Music Awards always promise controversy, entertainment, and a little peek into the insanity behind the celebrities we hold in such esteem. Whether Madonna’s kissing Britney or Kanye’s dissing Taylor, we at home are in for an exciting few hours.
The awards themselves are hardly the focus of the night.
Let’s be honest: we’re watching partially for the performances and mostly for the crazy.
I don’t normally watch awards shows, but I tuned in Sunday night, much to the detriment of my homework.
The best place to start is the very beginning.
Down the red carpet came the usual parade of actors and actresses in their fashionable getups. Being an MTV event, the stars don’t exactly get fancy.
Justin Bieber, attempting to look older than six years old, dressed like he was ready to hop on a (toy) motorcycle. Katy Perry, who was sick, looked like death herself in an ice-skating costume.
The first performance of the night was, of the Black Eyed Peas with Nicki Minaj.
They performed on the white carpet, demonstrating the crucial role sound editing plays in today’s music industry.
Next on the carpet was the belle of the ball, Lady Gaga. Wearing what appeared to be a feather headdress and gown covered with the print of an eighteenth-century painting, she marched in, shooting the camera her signature dazed stare.
With her were four former military officers who had been discharged for violating the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy. I do admire the statement Gaga was making, but she paraded her soldiers out like puppets in her theatre of crazy. Nothing says fame like using people as accessories.
Eminem and Rihanna opened the show with everyone’s favorite overplayed jam, “Love The Way You Lie. The performance was about as thrilling as hearing it for yet another time on the radio.
Next up was the host for the night, delightfully offensive Chelsea Handler. I laughed along with the audience, but at the same time I cringed at the thought of 13-year-old girls tuning in for “Biebz who were being exposed to Handler’s trademark profanity.
The actual awards blurred together, marked only by Lady GaGa’s seeming invincibility.
The pop queen reigned on this voting-based show, fueled by the momentum of her slavish fan following. Florence and the Machine, a British indie group who sings the upbeat song “Dog Days Are Over, performed and were well-received.
Justin Bieber performed and I went back to my homework, then Lady GaGa won again.
This time, her acceptance speech began with her yelling wordlessly, homage to Howard Dean possibly?
Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj presented an award to Eminem, and despite Katy’s cold, she was the one trying to keep a healthy distance from Nicki’s debilitating crazy-eyes-itis.
Taylor Swift performed a whiny and bland song about how deeply emotionally damaged she was when Kanye West interrupted her last year. A few things: First, Taylor, stay on the radio.
You’re a nice girl but live performances are just not for you. Secondly, you were interrupted in your reception of a silver astronaut. No one died. You’re 21; you’ll bounce back.
Justin Bieber won Best New Artist, to no one’s surprise. The final award of the night was Video of the Year, which even less surprisingly, went to Lady GaGa. She mounted the stage in a dress made of meat, supposedly to send a message.
I got her message loud and clear: we should stand up against those horrible people out there that aren’t paying enough attention to her. Tears streaming, she announced the title of her new album, “Born This Way, breaking out in song as her thank you.
For someone who is not a fan of hers, I was tiring of her appearance every three minutes and glad to see her go.
The night ended with Kanye West rebutting Taylor Swift’s weepy lament. Setting aside MTV’s contrived attempt at drama, the song itself was awful.
His self-promoting toast to the jerks of the world, crude and poorly-executed, should have been met with boos.
The conclusion of the show was representative of the night itself, a bit uncomfortable yet predictable.
If you loved Lady GaGa, the night was great. But for the rest of us, MTV, step it up next year, or we’re not watching.

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