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Snax time with Alpy: Big wheeling – Survive the Drive

By Abi Oshins and Max Levine
Published: June 2010

Good morrow scholars.

As we turn the page in the new chapter of our column we come back to a sport in the United States.

It is a race of freedom, patriotism and insanity.

The sport we bring to you today that goes by the name of “Big Wheeling. The origin of the Big Wheel goes back to 1969 in California and was first presented in the ‘Ëœ69 New York Toy Fair.

Ever since that fateful day in 1969, a new sport has flourished across the country and has come to be known as Big Wheel racing.

A brief explanation of the sport is to simply finish in first place.

The appeal of the sport comes from two areas: speed and drifting. Speed comes from the chosen route.

For an excellent race one must choose a course entirely down hill with numerous rolling turns to spice things up.

We have done some research on YouTube and learned that semi professional racers, taped by “bevans1993 have been clocked at a blazing 45 mph.

Drifting comes into play due to the lack of tread on the two back tires, which are hollow plastic tubes.

These do not provide a significant amount of traction for the bike, which is important when taking a turn.

When turning, the back tires whip around, turning the bike side a ways, inducing a drift.

Yet again, we summoned the same talented seventh graders to the top of Heartbreak Hill on the side carriage.

However, only five of the past contestants participated due to the fact that one had lost the Heartbreak Hill race in April and could not bring herself to scale the hill again.

The other had conflicting religious beliefs and could not partake in the event.

All athletes were equipped properly so that they could perform to their full potential and perform safely*.

The race began with a pack of big wheels bumping into each other and the immediate destruction of an Original Mighty Big Wheel.

As the driver fell safely to the pavement, due to his “surviving the drive skills, the other drivers swept along, big wheels intact.

As they approached the first turn, the plastic wheels started to slip.

Due to inertia, gravity, and poor manufacturing alike, the big wheels started to drift. The lack of turning during a drift caused two of the contestants to over-shoot the turn and spill safely on the median.

As the two remaining contestants expertly navigated the course, a big wheel fight ensued.

Aggressive big wheel bumping back and forth increased the tension between the racers.

They both wanted the victory and neither was willing to back down as they accepted the motto “death before dishonor.

100 yards from the finish line, a pot hole snuck up on one of the contestants and flung him 5 feet into the air (he landed safely).

The lone contestant haughtily crossed the finish line with all of his body parts intact.

The winner, Mini Snax (Eli Levine), school: Brown Middle School, favorite class: Spanish/Math, height: 5’1, and years big wheeling: Ï‚’. Being related the the co-author of this column, Snax,

Mini Snax clearly inherited his big wheel genes from Mega Snax (Andy Levine), who was the 3-time champion of the Scarsdale 300 in New York.

From this experience we have learned that we are all “meat, blood, bone, and brains and that we need to take the proper precautions in order to safely big wheel.

If you remember that directly behind your eyes is your brain, then you know that paying attention behind the big wheel is directly related to attention to the race.

*This race is a fictionalized account based on a true story. No seventh graders were harmed during the event. All facts are fiction.

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