View from the Top: Max Pava and Jarrod Milshtein

By Denebola
Published: November 2008

feats.jpgWhat up Newton South? We hope that you are enjoying reading the paper today, and that your teacher hasn’t rudely taken it away or made you put it under your desk. We realize that in this part of the article it is tradition to insult everyone in the school that is not a senior. The class of ’09 (lookin’ fine) is the last single digit class to go through Newton South, so simply put, classes of ’10, ’11, and ’12, enjoy crappy class chants for the rest of high school.

Now, to us. If you don’t know us, we really can’t blame you. I, Maxwell Nussman Pava, have changed a bit, and you may still remember me as the fat kid that looked like Jonah Hill. I, Jarrod David Milshtein (Milsh-man), just haven’t really gotten out during the past four years.

We really aren’t alike in any way at all. Max acts in his plays, and Jarrod refuses to go. (Note to the English department: we know we just switched narrative in the middle of a paragraph.) Jarrod has a solar panel and a model car on his desk; we think that says enough.

During the past four years, we have observed the predictability of high school. We have all been living the lives of a teenage movie. After viewing Superbad at Fenway 13 two summers ago, we turned to each other, speechless for a moment. Outside the theatre, I (Milsh-man) made the obvious statement: “That was us.

Let’s look at the characters. (Switch in narrative.) Remember the scene where Evan accidentally punches Becca in the chest area? Well, that is Jarrod’s entire life. Like Evan, the Milsh-man’s experience with ladies has been lackluster. For example, when in a hot tub with a girl you don’t really know, don’t mention that you don’t want her to look at your scrawny body. Also, don’t start doing the robot arbitrarily in public places, i.e. at Semi.

As for Max, he not only looks like the overweight kid, Seth, but has the same lack of inner monologue. For instance, don’t laugh at a mush’s girlfriend who tripped and is limping. The mush tends to get angry. Max is also accustomed to touching Jarrod’s nose with a “boop noise.

Like Seth and Evan, we have spent the majority of our high school careers sitting on a couch hypothesizing about what it would be like to be out with a girl, and other things along the lines of really tight jeans.

These high school movies are more universal. All guys want to have sex before they graduate, and guys will always make bets on girls. Girls will be dramatic, as in Mean Girls, keying each other’s cars and such, but at the end of all the drama, there are some good people, such as Preston and Amanda at the end of Can’t Hardly Wait.

Now we would each like to take the time to add a personal anecdote:

Jarrod: I have been making fun of myself throughout the article and would like to point out that I can do so because I am having a good time doing it. I am comfortable enough to make those comments because at the end of the day, I am a pretty happy person. So, here is my note on how to stay happy in high school: be yourself and accept yourself.

The reason that solar panel sits on my desk is because I like building, and anyone who knows me can say that I love fast cars. (By the way, if you have the means of picking up a BMW, I highly recommend it. Don’t go for the Mercedes.) I am not a party animal, and you shouldn’t feel that the party lifestyle is a necessity for every high school student.

Max: No matter what high school you attend, there will be stereotypically mean kids, there will be kids who think they’re better than them, and there will be a large spectrum of other people. Yes, it may be annoying that this is how life is, but honestly, live with it. Just have fun.

Do whatever you want that will make you enjoy yourself. Trust me, it’s possible. It may sound corny, but everyone is capable of having fun just by being themselves. I spent the first two years of high school trying to be something I wasn’t. They were by far the worst two years of my life. Follow your impulses and graduate without any regret.

Keep it real and let’s try to pull off the first decent senior prank.

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