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View from the Top: Talya Davidoff, Sari Krumholtz, and Ben Shapiro

By Denebola
Published: March 2008

By Talya Davidoff, Sari Krumholtz, and Ben Shapiro

Hey babydollz! We’re Sari and Talya/Talya and Sari/Ben and Sari/Ben and Talya/Ben and Sari sitting in a tree, K-I-S… Now that we’re slumpin’, (word) we’ve had some time to think about the last four years…
Freshman year: well, that was fun. It all started on the first day of school, when everyone slept in late except for us! Here’s a factoid: your friends will probably be completely different by senior year, especially if you have a name for your group, like “slant (GTs). We’re truly sorry that you have three years left, but at least you have the cruise to look forward to.
Hey, it’s Ben, NOT SARI OR TALYA, with a tip: Stop being so self-conscious now. I know you get embarrassed easily, you have braces and pimples, and you’re fat. But just be yourself! Break free! Take your pants off! Be confident! Have a sense of humor! Ya dig?
Sophomore and Slytherin start with the same letter for a reason! Honestly, what’s good about this year (besides Talya’s sister)? Nothing happens except all the boys sprout twelve inches. The agenda: no one knows who you are, you’re forced to suffer through hours of driver’s ed., and you have to memorize and present your sophomore speech. Speaking of which, we want to give a shout out to Ariel Kirshenbaum, this year’s winner. She’s coOOOOol. REALLY cool. (What up Rina.)
Alright. Junior year: SATs, thinking about college, harder classes¦ Luckily, it’s time to drive. Just be careful if you’re on the road with Michaela Jones. But for real, driving is great. Semi is also a major highlight, unless you’re Matt Corson: “Oh, I’m Matt Corson, I was too cool for Semi. I’m really great at everything, like World of Warcraft, every sport, and being a MAN. Oh, and you know what else junior year brings?! PARTIES!!! Birthday parties, dancing parties, and cowboy parties!
And now…SENIOR YEAR. The first half sucks. Everywhere you go, people pop up to ask about your SATs/GPA/college preference. (Ben’s anecdote: My doctor asked me, “Ben, do you know where you’re going to college? It’s gosh darn rude to assume I’m going to college, right? Maybe I wanted to be a teacher or a hobo’€something you don’t need to go to college for). But don’t worry, because then it’s sLuMpTiMe: free blocks, the commons, getting naked in the library, prom (Ben thinks he can get a date if his cousin will just answer the damn phone!), and graduation. We’re freakin’ OUT just thinking about it.
Talya and Sari’s full perspective: Martine, Benji, spaghetti, fudge, napping, and Grey’s Anatomy. FRIENDSHIP!
Ben’s full perspective: Freshman year is about the time you’ll realize that you have four years left of high school. FRICK. Sophomore year is the year of exploration’€“OMG, I’m SO drunk! No I’m not! Wait, yes I am! Ladies, watch out for big hairy guys who “just want to talk. I used to be one. Junior year is the year of realization and rationalization: “Why am I here? What is the meaning of life? And senior year’€well’€senior year is the dingle berry on top of the crap-cake that is Newton South High School. GET ME OUTTA HERE, BABY JESUS!

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