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Theme of the Month: Rejection Correction

By Denebola
Published: March 2008

By Moire Corcoran

The end of March is upon us, and that can only mean one thing: April showers. I want to inform you, however, of a different type of shower this April; it comes in the form of tears softly cascading down my face. One single drop falls onto my rejection letter from a generic college that I was adamant about attending. But, my dry-heaving, sobbing, or otherwise clammy-handed friends, this is not the end! I am here to inform you that there are plenty of ways to enjoy yourself without attending said generic college.
Munchies:
Now that you have returned red-eyed and bushy-tailed, go to your kitchen and eat a spoonful of Nutella or your favorite hazelnutty-chocolately spread. Then ask your mother to make you pancakes. Pancakes are always a good rejection-correction. I’m partial to banana chocolate chip, but you should feel free to try any combination you want. It is, after all, your rejection day.
Also, instead of maple syrup, I’d slather some Nutella on those short stacks (remember to be liberal with the spread; tomorrow is the day to worry about your future and the size of your waistline). Now that you’ve gorged yourself on cakes of pan, call up your friends for a nice belly rub. It’s your rejection day and you deserve a belly rub, damn it

Books:
Belly rubs always put me in the mood for a good read. Go to your bookshelf and pull out a dusty ol’ volume. I like to handle my rejection with a nice ladle of teen angst like The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. Slam by Nick Hornby is another good choice if teen pregnancy sounds worse than college rejection.

Music:
Perhaps your bookshelf is full of Gossip Girls and Ayn Rand novels (I know mine is), and you want a little music therapy instead. If you didn’t exhaust every Nick Drake song ever written while drowning in self-pity, now is the time to break out the old records. Or, if you’re looking for a more recent vibe, The Mountain Goats are your guys. Bitter, resentful, and incredibly well-read, the Goats will help you realize that John Darnielle has more rage and bitterness than the admissions officers who will regret ever rejecting you from any college ever.
If your tastes run more towards hip-hop, Dead Prez is your answer. Listen to “They Schools, which probably describes your feeling about the American education system right now. In fact, after listening you’ll most likely join a socialist revolution, so you won’t even have to worry about college.

Art Projects:
If books, music, and a day-long America’s Next Top Model marathon don’t work as your rejection-correction, then I suggest some creative art projects with your rejection letters: wrapping paper, paper maché, wallpaper, perhaps?

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