Vue du Sommet: Jeannie Yoon

By Denebola
Published: December 2007

By Jeannie Yoon
I’m a senior, and in true senior fashion I’m writing and turning this article in late. Like, whatever, I do what I want, I’m a senior. All you people who aren’t seniors can get out of my face because I’m a senior. Denebola was all like, “Hey where’s your View from the Top?” and I said, “Get off my back, yo, I’m a senior!” But seriously. I am. A senior.
Possessing, of course, all the sagely senior wisdom I have garnered throughout these past difficult and unforgettable years. But all the fatherly advice I could possibly give to you puny underclassmen is already being spewed at you from all angles’€teachers, peers, inferior View from the Tops’€so I’m going to save my valuable senior breath on that. Instead I’m going to school you all, underclassmen and upperclassmen alike, on some seniorly truths.
In case you didn’t know, seniors are really special. But you probably already did, because it’s hard to not notice how awesome we are. And intelligent. And sexy. Let me tell you, it’s just terrific to really come into our own as a grade. Just look at what wise, mature individuals we have become. Despite the fact that we were mere underclassmen less than a year ago, now that we’re officially in the 12th grade, everything has changed.
Nobody else knows what it’s like to be us, to have lived through high school and seen it all. So that’s why we get special privileges.
Like, blatantly. We drive cars! What is that if not an indicator of awesomeness? And if you think it’s more trouble than it’s worth to pay through the nose for a parking pass, pay for fuel, defrost the windshield every morning, and walk through the numbing cold to class every morning, you’re wrong. It’s awesome.
Not to mention all the other unwritten privileges that we get too. We can slack in class (as if we haven’t been doing so for our entire school careers) because of either stress from “college stuff” or “early slump.” Or because we were out driving to waste money on bad coffee from Starbucks, maybe because we “need” the caffeine but mostly because it looks cool to carry around those paper cups just because we can.
And the Wheeler Commons’€er, I mean Senior Commons. Maybe some of you puny underclassmen have walked by that sumptuous den between classes and gaped longingly at its inaccessible splendor. How you’d like to rest your legs in one of those moderately comfortable, very soiled chairs and hang with the cool cats that seem to be there at all hours of the day, doing nothing but being awesome! But too bad you can’t even step foot inside because it’s rigged with a sophisticated invisible forcefield that will only let seniors pass and will horribly mutilate all lesser beings.
Speaking of lesser beings, we are also allowed to be complete jerks to all underclassmen. It’s our right and your burden. It would be wise to cower and anticipate some kind of assertion of our superiority when dealing with us.
In fact it would be wisest to prostrate yourselves at our feet when you pass us in the halls (you’ll be able to identify us by our car keys, coffee cups, conspicuous lack of school supplies, and vapid facial expressions). Yeah it sucks but hey we all had to go through it.
You’re probably really enjoying this super-conceited, long-winded and ironic tirade but sadly all good things come to an end. This is a really abrupt conclusion but blame the word limit. So¦.yeah. OH 8 DON’T H8!

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